Midnight worry wart

Last night it poured with rain. Murphy and I both had cabin fever. She chased the cat and I ate. Or I chased the cat and she ate... something.

My week  has been a little busy, long days writing and editing the new book to be released this weekend. Plus with my ADHDHDHDHDHDHDH, oh look at that, shiny sydrome, everything take 4 times as long as it should.
I've trained clients, set a new program, edited a book and set up network meetings for  next week. Which is all code for "eaten shit, moved very little  and drank way too much coffee".

Ive had a couple of clients kinda down and out lately, feeling like they've lost their grrove, why should they bother and what's the freaking point. You know that feeling, when the wheels wobble and so you pretty much steer that self sabotage train right off the rails. Why have one biscuit, i'll have 20. Now I might get pissed. And cry.

We all do it!

I "know" better.

We all do.

Sometimes life gets in the way and things get a little bumpy and that IS A OK!
Masteriung the bumps is key, it's not about not having bumps and hiccups, it's about learning how to move on quickly, get over it. I can assure you guilt and self loathing will do far more damage than a bloody Timtam.

Added to this, worry will also be just as bloody useful.

Last night I snuggled into bed, the cat across my chest (I'm his bitch), he purrs and the rain buckets down.
My head whispers " You did nothing today, fatty"
I adjust myself under the cat and go back to raindrops.....

"You could have one a lot better with that book, 114 pages is nothing"

Shhh, I want to meditate on appreciation goddammit!

"Slacker, plus you haven't gone for a run for a week.. PT Fatty"

Raindrops, raindrops, focus on the raindrops


Over the next hour my head chatters, worries me, anxious thoughts, to do lists, life goals, 5 year plans, LGBT foundation and then BOOM!!!

I realised something

The cat was still purring, the rain still pouring, I was warm, safe, snuggled and NONE of this worry was actually changing anything. So why the bloody hell is it getting my energy?

I stopped
Kissed the cat
and listened to the raindrops while I drifted off to sleep in what felt like a life raft with a devon rex motor purring.

Energy should be like fuel in a car, use it to get to a destination, to DO something, to take ACTION.

Using energy on worrying is like driving around the block 150 times hoping to get somewhere new.

This blog was brought to you by a midnight worry wart who will no longer place energy anywhere which won't instigate change, I hope you do the same :)

Di Kennedy